Discipling Through Life Transitions

By Tyka Grant

(6 minute read)

Chaos, change, and suffering. Many would use these words to describe transition and the goal is make it through them with the least amount of bruises and scratches. Transitions put us out of routine, they shift our normal and force us to reevaluate ourselves, our relationships, and our walks with God. In transition we can find ourselves praying differently, more primal, more desperate or pleading-- we can find ourselves, like Christ in the garden of Gethesmane, on our face before the Lord imploring Him to take this cup from us! Thankfully for us, God did not leave us alone when He called our Savior home-- Jesus tells us and the disciples in John 16:13 “But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of Mine and will disclose it to you.” 

Our modern world has afforded us many comforts that minimize the discomfort of many transitions, but not all. I believe that it is in the discomfort and chaos of transition that the Holy Spirit really speaks and works on our hearts and characters. Often we can lose our sensitivity to the Holy Spirits moving in our life due to the consistency of our routines. The Holy Spirit speaks to our hearts and sometimes seems like it speaks louder during times of transition and change. I believe this is because often our facade of stability and “having it together” is rocked during change and the voice of the spirit is able to speak through those cracks. However, we must train our ear to hear the Spirit's voice testifying and challenging our hearts concerning God and His truth. To those we are walking in tandem with toward Christ, we need to encourage them to listen to the Holy Spirit's voice as well. Trusting that the Spirit is speaking and that by inclining our minds and hearts towards the Lord we and they will hear and understand. Our God is a God of clarity, so we must , for ourselves, and our friends to patiently wait on the Holy Spirit's response. Waiting can be the most difficult thing because, well, we want to know now! But waiting forces us to confront our lack of control over the situation.

Transitions bring to the fore of our minds and hearts that we are not and were never in control. The illusion of control that our routine and comfort gives us is ripped away and thrown to the ground; and we are left standing, as exposed as Adam and Eve in the garden, with nothing but fig leaves covering our inadequacies and weakness. This exposure can leave us feeling anxious, depressed, and adrift as we struggle to navigate whatever changes our particular life transitions are presenting us with. Though we feel exposed, we have a God who wants to and has met our needs. Jesus reminds us that the lilies of the field are clothed by our Fathers hands-- so how much more will he clothe us? (Matthew 6:27-30). When we feel exposed and vulnerable, Jesus reminds us through His example and words to turn to the Father. Here are some guiding principals that have helped myself and other disciples do just that: 

1. Acknowledge the transition and how it’s making us feel. It is possible to, despite experiencing great transition in life, to continue to go about your days as regularly as possible as if nothing is actually changing. There can be no growth or deepening of our dependence on the Lord if we never allow ourselves to feel our need for growth and for His stability and provision in our lives. We have to acknowledge that we are going through something whether or not it’s challenging. It’s helpful to consider how things are changing and what emotions you feel about that change. Our emotions are a beautiful gift from God, given to us so that our lives can be filled with colors and sensation. Their existence should point us back to the Creator who gave them to us. If this is a struggle, then perhaps this particular life transition is one that can lead you to seeking out professional clinical help. Pray through how God might want to grow you through counseling/therapy.  

   
   

2. Any transition means that something is changing so, naturally we need to turn our gaze to the things that are unchanging. And not just anything, but particularly He who is unchanging (Mal. 3:6, Jas 1:17). When our routine, job, home, relationships, etc are in upheaval the only solid ground we have is on Christ. Like the old hymnal states “On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; // All other ground is sinking sand, // All other ground is sinking sand.” Practically this can look like:

   1. Doing personal discovery bible studies on the attributes of God or completing a workbook like Experiencing the Attributes of God by Warren & Ruth Myers

   2. Learning praise and worship songs that exalt God and remind us of his immutability like He is Lord and Jireh performed by Elevation Worship, and 

   3. Prayer. Pray through His attributes alone and together. In our prayers we praise Him for who He is as well as ask Him to reveal Himself to us. Use a prayer devotional like, Praying the Attributes of God by Rosemary Jensen, to help guide you if you feel stuck or just want to pray differently. 

      
      

3. Keep your eyes and heart open to the ways the Holy Spirit is moving in your (or your friends) life during this time. This is a sweet opportunity to encourage one another and to remind them and yourself that God is moving and is still good. When we are coming alongside a friend who is struggling through transition it's important to remember that you may have an idea of what your friend should do or what truth God might want to teach them, but the goal is to give others the tools and know how to go to God on their own and hear what He has to say through His Holy Spirit. Not for our friend to simply take our word for it, however prayed through it may be. 

Anticipation, excitement, wonder. These are words that can also come to describe transitions in our lives. When things change, we can change-- for the better! Our understanding and relationship with God through Christ facilitated by the Holy Spirit can deepen and consequently our lights can shine brighter in this dark world.