Disciplemaking Essentials: Barriers & Fears + Who to Disciple? | Doug Franck, Discipleship Coach

In our second installment of our Disciplemaking Essentials series, long-time discipleship practitioner and coach Doug Franck will help us dismantle some fears and misconceptions that can get in the way of our faithfulness, as well has help us discern who to invest our time and energy in discipling.

Hilarious Francis Chan Clip (2 minutes): https://youtu.be/9KIA-DGx_3Y

Unedited AI Transcript of Audio:

And so I just want to start today by quickly reviewing what we did last time and then I'm going to bring up our speaker for today. So last time we talked about the why of disciple making, and we talked about, you know, disciple making, it leads excellent practical outcomes. It's something we should do to be obedient to Jesus, but most of all, it's part of how God designed us to reflect his relational nature. 
We talked about how the words disciple and discipleship have been overused, watered down. What the Rabbi. And so we wanted to land on these definitions for the purpose of our series, and I'm just gonna bring this up probably every time, so we're refreshing what we're talking about here. 
We're gonna define a disciple as a person who is following Jesus into Christian maturity and multiplication. And disciple making as an intentional life-on-life process in which one person helps another follow Jesus into Christian maturity and multiplication. So today, I'm going to bring up Doug Frank. 
Um, he's going to talk about barriers to disciple making and fears that kind of get in the way as well as who we should disciple, who we should be looking for. Um, I just want to say, like, by way of introduction, that I worked for many years for and under Doug Frank, and it was just a wonderful experience. Doug is a guy who has decades and decades of disciple making experience, starting with crew, with search ministries. 
Now he's kind of struck out on his own. He's just a discipleship coach in Columbus. He's like, technically retired, but I think that's a lie. 
I think it's a lie. I think he's working. Um, And, you know, Doug just has a group of people like out in the city in positions of influence who are making great gains for God's kingdom in the marketplace, just all over town. 
It's kind of amazing And so he's just somebody to learn from, somebody to sit at his feet and get a little perspective on discipleship, disciple making here. So before I bring up Doug, can I pray for us, y'all? Lord, I am just so grateful to be here, to be in a room of people who love you and who are serving you, and who maybe don't have the answers, but we're all here, ready to learn from you, Lord. 
And I just pray that you'd be speaking through Doug today. that you would be in his words. And also, Lord, that you'd be illuminating specific things in our hearts that you have for us to hear. Pray Father, that this would be a time where we're listening to your Holy Spirit together. 
Amen. All right, I'm gonna make you. All right, great. 
Thanks. Wow. James's story was incredible, very inspiring. 
I think we could just go home after listening to that. Uh, just really practical. Uh, principles that she was sharing. 
Um, I'm glad to be here. It's a privilege. really an honor to be able to speak to you on a topic that I'm very passionate about. Um, I'm passionate about it because, uh, as a young believer, I was discipled by, uh, a fellow student who was one step ahead of the hounds, you know, ahead of me. 
And, um, I'm grateful for that experience that changed my life and it also changed the trajectory of what I'm doing now. Why I've committed my life to disciple making. So today, um, you know, one of the things that we're gonna look at is we most of us see and agree that disciple making is important. 
Um, but to be honest, there's a lot of fear and uncertainty that surrounds, uh, discipleship of, you know, people want to do it. They know they should do it. They listen to Rachel's talk on why do it. 
And um, but there's something that's just getting in the way. And so we're going to talk about that today. The common barriers and fears. 
Uh, and how do you overcome those? And then secondly, we're going to talk about. Who does God want me to disciple? 
How do you discern that? How do you figure that out? So, Um. 
I think the thing that we look at here is, when we look at how to disciple and everything, the reason we put this training together, is because of some of the surveys that have been out there, and one of those surveys, Um, let me see if I could back up here a minute. Um, was from Barna. And um, I'm gonna go ahead and go to that survey. 
Uh, They they survey Christians and Barn is a church marketing organization, and they found that as they asked the question, Um, you said you're not helping someone grow in their faith or move closer to Christ, why is that? What's the reason why? And the number one reason was they don't think they're qualified or equipped to do it. 
They just don't know how to do it. I'd like to do it, but I just even don't even know where to start. I don't know who to disciple. 
Um, and so as a result of that. Um, You know, we created this training, because in response to some of these surveys, another survey, put out by the verge network. Um, Is they surveyed 5000 missional leaders. 
Uh, to find out what the greatest disciple making barrier is. And they found simply the same thing. People just don't know how. 
And the 2nd one is are people are busy. They don't have time. To do discipleship. 
So, And I back up here and See if I can trigger this uh, video. Uh, a humorous video. Let's see here. 
I think I got it. It launched. Francis Chan talking about why. which plays game called Silent Sets. 
Right, most of us have played that, and there's a really, you know, there's no app for it. Simon says, is that, you know, you just, Simon says, pack your head, you know, so, okay, you know, Simon said it. Um, it's just, it was a very simple game, but it's so weird how, in the church, Jesus says, there's a totally different game. 
If Jesus says something. I have to do it. You just have to memorize it. 
Oh, no. He, he, he, he, he, he, it doesn't make any sense. A lot of things we do. 
I tell them to go on and make disciples and how many people our churches are actually making disciples. They memorized it. You know, I tell my daughter, Hey, Rich, go clean your room. 
She doesn't come back to me 2 hours that I go. I memorize what you said. He said, Great, go clean your room. 
I can say agree. My friends are gonna come over, and we're gonna have to study what it would look like if I clean my room. She knows better than that. 
And so why do we think we're gonna come before the church one day? And quote everything that he said. Talk about how much we know, it's just, it's just this black and white stuff. 
If I just started with scripture, I'd go, here's what I would do. Start making disciples. Humorous. 
In other words, it's not just about head knowledge. We all could quote the great commission. Um, we can, we memorize the verse. 
But how many of us feel comfortable doing it? How many of us are actually applying it, and just getting out there to do it. And so, um, Uh, the 1st barrier that keeps people from doing it is I'm not qualified. 
I don't know if you feel that way, but, um, You might feel like, well, I don't know enough about the Bible. Um, I'm not a pastor, I've not been to seminary. You know, what if I mess this person up? 
You know? And uh, the underlying fear there. Um, I know this was me when I 1st was asked to disciple someone for the 1st time and I said, gosh, I don't want to mess them up and I don't know enough. 
And the underlying fear was the fear of inadequacy. Um, and also comparing myself to other people that were, you know, rock stars as disciple makers. And so how do I compare that? 
But the truth uh, of this is that Jesus didn't call the most educated and qualified people. Uh, he called ordinary people. He called fishermen to be disciple makers, tax collectors, just everyday people. 
Um, and so how do we overcome this? It's really focusing on our availability, not our ability. And I think a lot of times we think it's, well, who am I to do this? 
Why would they listen to me? Um, but it's, we make ourselves available to God. Here I am, Lord, send me, use me in any way you want. 
And um, so discipleship is also more than, uh, sharing about what you know. But it's modeling your real walk with Jesus. Um. 
Having not having all the answers. And I think sometimes we can feel like, And they just ask them great questions today. I usually just say, that's a great question instead of giving you a half baked answer. 
I want to do some research on that and get back with you. But let's learn together. You know because it's not like you have to have all the answers. 
The other thing is using real life resources, um, to help disciple. That's another way you can overcome that. And, um, That's why we put together the Columbus discipleship website, ColumbusDiscipleship.org. 
Um, you go under resources and tools. There's a ton of discipleship material there. Practical tools. 
Um, that if you can read, you can disciple. Um, but it's, it's really not just the content, but it's sharing your own life experience. And, um, So I think that, That's part of it is, you know, you need to start with, um, praying 1st. 
Who do you want me to disciple? And then start with friendships. Um, And You know, start with the people you know. 
And so this a barrier of feeling rejection. What if they reject me? I feel awkward. 
What if they say no? What if it gets weird? You know, um, That that's that could be a problem. 
We fear what people think. And there was a guy recently. I was in his cancer support group. 
My wife and I went through this and, uh, Um, they were facilitating and The group was over, and I guess, just kept thinking the, the husband that was the facilitator, I wonder, I said, I wonder if he's ever been discipled by anybody. goes to our church. Great guy. So I said, hey, let's grab coffee. 
And it turns out, I mean, this guy is busy. He's a, uh, pediatric oncology surgeon at Children's Hospital. Has 5 kids. 
So I was expecting him to say, you know, that's nice, but I just don't have the time. He says, no, I would love to. Nobody's ever discipled me and I'd be very open to that. 
In fact, I'd like to learn how to I could do this for other people. Okay, I almost missed that opportunity because I was 2nd guessing. Uh, this guy, and what I find, especially among men. 
Is that they long to have somebody that generally cares about how they're doing spiritually and in their family and will come alongside of them. Uh, most men have .8 close friends, and that's trending downwards. So, discipleship helps to fill that. 
Um. The other thing is that, um. We need, people are more open than we assume, um, you know, Jesus said in Matthew 937, the harvest is plentiful, the workers are few. 
The problem's not with the harvest, the problems with there's not enough people willing to disciple. And so we need to pray for more disciple makers. Thus, you're an answer to prayer in this room. 
Um, we need to send out more disciple makers. Um. So we pray to God 1st prepare. 
Uh, the hearts of people that that he wants to lead to us too, and then we start with the friendships that we have. Um, people that we share life with. It's not a formal program or a class per se that they're going through. 
The other barrier is, um, time and business. I don't know Most people are living, uh, busy lives, where we just finished in our discipleship group, the ruthless elimination of hurry by John Marcoma. And, man, that, that was a 2 by 4 between the eyes. 
It's like we're just so busy that we don't even have time for. Discipleship. Uh, where would I fit this in? 
And so, um, Discipleship doesn't always mean that you're adding something new. It's often just taking being more intentional with what you're already doing. And so, um, You know, we start with the people that we know, and I think also, um, The place where we start, is with the friends that we have. 
It's uh, making a list of those people. Um, assess your calendar, find time. Uh, invite people into your existing rhythms, meals, you've got to eat anyway. 
Uh, so there's 168 hours in a week. Uh, 21 meals a week. Is it asking too much to take one of those meals to meet for an hour and a half , 2 hours with someone, whether it's breakfast, lunch, or early dinner. 
And I find that most people, if they really want this, they'll make the time for it. So usually time isn't the problem and it's amazing. Ive had people say, I just don't have time. 
I have them do a kind of a time schedule, look at their calendar. Where's all their time going? And uh, this is really a priority. 
You'll find time to put it in there. So, uh, invite people into what you're already doing, and, um, Uh, Remember that Jesus discipled along the way, it was a lifestyle, it was a way of life. It was not in a classroom. 
And so, um, Invite them to do what you're already. If you're going biking, you know, take them with you and, and, you know, you stop along the trail and you, you talk about these things. With them. 
Um, The other one is fear of failure. What if they don't grow? What if they mess up? 
And our job is just to be faithful. And leave the results up to God. So success and discipleship is doing discipling and the power of the Holy Spirit, and leaving the results up to God. 
We get that reversed. We think it's my power. My cleverness, my will, and it's not. 
Uh, I've tried it that way and I fail. It's it's no fun. So, uh, Paul said in 1st Corinthians 3. 
I plan it, Apollos watered. But who made it grow? Did it say Paul or Apollos made it grow? 
It's God that made it grow. Made that disciple grow. And you see evidence in the book of Acts where that just exploded, you know, the church expanded quickly. 
So the way we overcome this is how we define success and discipleship. It's, um, obedience to Jesus is not the outcomes. It's being faithful. 
Not, you know, it's not about numbers. And I think also overcoming it is, you know, it's not like you've got to share all your success stories. It's it's sharing your imperfections. 
We're modeling grace, not perfection. In fact, that's probably more of a, a way to model. Uh, Discipleship to somebody is just sharing what you're struggling with. 
Uh, I had that opportunity. got hit by a truck. My wife went through preparian cancer. And, you know, just totally humbled by that. 
And, you know, we were on our face before the Lord, and to have the guys, I'm discipling come around us. Uh, it was humbling and it was amazing, but I think I had a couple of them say, you know, um, they would accommodate me. They'd come over in a wheelchair for a couple months. 
Then a walker, then Kane, and they came over and they, they helped us out. They cut our grass, they um, brought meals, but most of all, they said, you know, we watched how you and Marilyn went through this. And that was, that was more about discipling and learning it, what you modeled, and how to suffer well. 
And I said, well, that's the grace of God, because normally I'm a big complainer. So, um, They, you know, they're watching. It's caught, not taught. 
So, that's important. Uh, so yeah, share your imperfections, share your struggles. And then, um, Fear of failure, if you're anything like Jesus and Paul, you can expect and experience disappointments and setbacks and failures. 
You know, we see Paul had Ademas. Who was one of his disciples who kind of chucked it and went after the world. We see. 
You know, even Jesus had a had a Judas. So people might take from you for years and never give out. And they think, man, you know. 
I've been giving and giving, but I'm not seeing a lot of fruit here. Uh, people might walk away from God, and that's always disheartening when you see that happen. Um. 
People are individuals made in the image of God. And we have to remember that they're not projects. We don't look at them as somebody that we can fix. 
Um, God's in the business of the transforming lives. And that's why I like discipleship because, It's life on life and it's where you see transformation happen, like you're in a greenhouse where plants are just, you know, growing much more quickly. Then if they're just out in your weed patch. 
So. Uh, Jesus tells us to count the cost, and uh, He promises that it'll be worth it. And I will have to say, you know, I, as John and 3rd John says, I have no greater joy than to see my children walking in the truth. 
When you see your disciples, making disciples and them really getting grounded in the word and being self feeders, answering the tough questions. And they've gotten to that point of growing and maturing, and then now they're doing that. For others. 
I mean, it's it's incredibly rewarding. There's a there's a joy to that. So, um, The real question comes down to, okay. 
Uh, if I address these fears, then, how do I know who I should disciple, and that seems to be. Uh, one of the things that holds people back. Is who am I supposed to disciple? 
Where do you find these people? Are they supposed to come up to me and ask me? Uh, rarely does that happen? 
Um. But even if we overcome our fears, there's that question of who to disciple. It's the art of selection, like Jesus. 
He, he selected, and he read the master plan of evangelism is, Brilliant chapter on selection. It's, uh, He took a bunch of ragtag people and they became disciples and they turned the world upside down. So the traits that you want to look for. 
Uh, 1st of all, is, Uh, we want to be guided. Well, 1st we wanna be guided by the Holy Spirit. Secondly, we, we look at Jesus model, he prayed all night. 
Before choosing the 12. So how much time have I spent praying about Lord, who do you want me to disciple? Um, I prayed that, said, guide me to people that are hungry for this. 
I don't know who they are. You know who they are. Will you guide me? 
And it's a matter of me then having my antenna up. And looking for those people. As I go on throughout my day. 
Um, and it's always exciting because you never know. There's always surprises. Um. 
So, and then I think the other thing is, when just practically, who's got already placed in your life? So when we look at this, this uh, chart. Um, often the right people are, are, in our circle of influence, or right under our nose. 
They might be a family member. Um. You know, that wants to be discipled. 
And if you've got kids, you know, your main disciples or your wife and kids, your spouse. Um, the other thing is, there's friends and family, neighbors. You have friends that maybe they didn't even know that you, are offering this, and you've never asked them if they'd like to be. 
Coworkers. I have a guy I'm discipling, you know, as a company, he led one of his leaders to Christ. He got him into a follow-up, giving foundation, basic discipleship, and this guy's in one of our groups now. 
Um, because he felt, like, his calling is there, and that's just, these are the people God wants him to reach out to, now the guy's being discipled. Your small group. A big one is like, if you're in a small group, Out of that group. 
There's probably one or 2 people that, uh, would love to be discipled. They just don't want to know what it is and they've never been asked. They've never been challenged to consider it. 
And so, um, It's, I'm looking at my time, so, very much aware that I'm running out of time. So I think that often the right person is already in your circle. And it's a matter of we've just not thought about it. 
Thing we need to look, look at is the qualities that we look for, and you've heard this, whether it's, you call them fat Christians or faith Christians, for our purposes, we'll look at faith traits that we're looking for, faithful. Do they show some openness or commitment to God? Um, secondly, are they available? 
Are they willing to give their time and energy? To being discipled. And then thirdly, intentional. 
Do they desire to grow? Do they want to take steps to be intentional about their own spiritual growth? And ministry. 
And so are they willing to take those next steps? And then, uh, next, are they teachable? Super important. 
Are they open? And are they open to feedback? Do they seem interested? 
Dr. Howard Hendricks says, if a disciple is a learner, then you are changing. If you're not changing, you're not a learner. So do they want to change? 
Hungry. Um, Do they have a spiritual curiosity and hunger or hunger spiritually? Uh, they want to grow. 
And so, you know, we see Zacchaeus. He was pretty motivated, went up and then he was an adult climbing a tree to see Jesus, you know. We need a few of those Zacchaeuses that we wanted to cycle. 
So praying for that. Um. The other thing is, you know, it's maybe something as simple as inviting them to read scripture with you or to read a book, good Christian book, pray together, serve together, and then, um, see how they respond before committing to longer term discipleship. 
When I started discipling, we had a pathway. We started with, it's called a discovery group. discipleship. Basic, the basics of the Christian life. 
Navigators calls it the wheel. Um, in crew, we called it the transferable concepts, but the idea is that you're starting, you know, with discovering these things. Then you move on to more of a commitment group level. 
And then to action group where now they're learning how to disciple others. Seem to work. We had 800 students involved in small group discipleship at Miami University. 
So I, you know, I know that it works. Um, And then, um, Not everybody's ready. right now. Um, some plant, others water, but God causes the growth. 
So you're just not sure where they're at in the process. So, in summary, you know, what we've talked about is, uh, some of the reasons. of why we do this. And uh, research says most common barriers is people feel ill equipped. 
That's why we're here. Um, as a discipler, I'm still learning. I learned a ton from other people. 
I have 2 guys that are mentoring me. And that are further along than I am in this. So, you know, you're constantly learning. 
Um, I think also we can expect to encounter disappointments and setbacks. And, um, I think that's one of the points, and the lastly, summarizing that we're looking for faithful, available, intentional, teachable and hungry people to spiritually mentor. And so start where you are. 
So.